The past couple of weeks have been spent dealing with the passing of my mother-in-law. I’m aware of the classic mother-in-law jokes, but we actually had a positive relationship.
Things went much faster than anticipated. I had originally flown out to Michigan with the idea of staying four days. I had figured that we’d get some things arranged (my wife had flown out a couple of days earlier), and then I’d fly back. Quite frankly, I figured her passing was coming, but that we probably had a month or so. However, I ended up staying for almost two weeks. (Special thanks to my Superintendent for his support.) While I was able to do a good bit of my job while away, I focused on the really crucial things, as my mindspace wasn’t really conducive to working full days.
I also have a couple of observations. My kids drove out. Since I thought that I’d be flying back, I hadn’t brought a suit. It quickly became clear that things might not go as expected, so I asked the kids to bring my suit. So, I went out to grab the suit from the kids’ car and put it in mine. Upon approaching the car, I noticed that the right rear tire looked “odd”. Upon further examination, it was low. Upon closer examination, there was a large screw in the tire. Great. I look at my watch. 16:30 (4:30 p.m.) on a Friday. I quickly look up tire stores around me. (I want to note that 40 years ago, this wouldn’t have been possible, so, yeah, technology.) Anyway, I see a couple of shops close, but then I think that I’ll check to see if a Belle Tire is close. Thankfully, there was. I head off to Belle Tire. The counter tech (who turns out to be the Store Manager) reassures me that they can get it taken care of right away.
I did notice that when he asked for my phone number, I hesitated at the area code. See, in Maine, there is only one area code (207), so I’m in the habit of saying “area code”, then waiting as they delete out the 207. However, I was in Michigan, where they have lots of area codes, and don’t assume one. It was then that I realized that I didn’t really have a sense of place. I had been in hospitals and the hospice center and had really lost where in the world I was. If anyone had asked me to go to spot in Maine, I would’ve thought that we could just head there. Same with Michigan (though that would work).
My mother-in-law passed away. There is tons of work to do. Clearing out a lifetime of stuff, even if it has been sorted down a few times by moving from a house to an apartment to another apartment, can take a while. Doing this while not living in the same spot can be that much more overwhelming.
I’m so extremely proud of my wife. She managed to take care of so many things while dealing with her own grief. I’m so glad that I found her.
There are still some things to do. However, the things that are left can mostly be accomplished from anywhere.
This is a reminder for me to better prepare for my own end of life. I want to make things as easy as possible for my wife and kids.